Settled

Yesterday we unpacked the last box and hung our pictures and decorations with the help of my fabulous sister-in-law Shelly (Charlotte calls her Cha-Cha, Shy, or Chi-Chi).

Charlotte played (and fought) with her cousin Owen while we worked.

At the end of a long day of dealing with a cranky two year old with a cold, I reached the end of my rope.

I lay next to her on her little bed helping her relax to sleep, looking forward to some alone time with Adam, feeling frustrated that it was taking so long, and thought, "I don't want to be here."

What did I mean by here, I asked myself.

Here in this room with Charlotte instead of out talking to Adam and unwinding after a busy and stressful day? Yes.

Here in Tulare instead of home in Orange County? Yes.

I started to cry as a wave of homesickness overwhelmed me. I wanted to be back where we were, where I could drop by and visit my parents, where we could go to Disneyland for an afternoon, where my Hendrix and Herold family are all within easy driving distance for visits.

Unpacking the last box and hanging our pictures gives a sense of finality. We are really living here, not just visiting or playing house.

There is nothing wrong with it here. I like it here. I love being so close to our Sierdsma family. But it isn't home ...

yet.