Therapy

I want to be positive and pretend everything is OK, but the truth is, the past year and a half has been really rough on me and I've been having an increasingly hard time coping. 
I'm tired of hoping it will get better on it's own, so I decided to go into therapy. 

I had my first appointment today.

She gave me a preliminary diagnosis of adjustment disorder with mixed anxiety and depression.

That means I'm anxious and depressed in response to a group of stressful events.

What stressful events?  Let's see:

1. Adam lost his job, February 2010.
2. Charlotte was run over, May 2010.
3. George's health problems began in July 2010.
4. We completed a short sale of our condo.
5. We moved 200 miles to a completely different lifestyle.
6. I was diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and deal with frequent irregular heartbeats and  palpitations.
7. Witnessed Jane's fall in August 2010.
8. I had a miscarriage that I am still (will always be?) grieving in October 2010.
9. My mom had a serious infection in her foot in early 2011.
10. I was diagnosed with gluten intolerance in February 2011.
11. Adam's been working crazy long hours to get his agency started, leaving with the work of a single parent much of the time.
12. Although we very much want a second child and began trying in earnest for one in May 2010, it hasn't happened yet. 
13. All of the above put a big strain on our marriage (which we are now working on).
14. Grandma fell and broke her hip and was diagnosed with ALS last month.

Yes, that is A LOT for anyone to deal with. 

But, in actuality, I've struggled with depression and anxiety for much of my life.  Some times in my life I've coped better than others, but it's always been there.  I started getting help for it before Charlotte was born, and it helped, but I don't think I finished the healing work I needed to do.